What really defines our fate and achievements in life? Is it crafted by the big moments that determines what comes next, or is it subtly hidden within the small instants that bring meaning to our existence? – I thought to myself, as I get ready for my appointment.
I knew I couldn’t be late for this lunch; it was way too important, potentially life-changing, despite it might appear as just another lunch. Yet, I can’t control my thoughts to wander beyond the limits defined by my body, travelling to the moments, places and people that brought me to this decisive point.
But where did it all start? – I try to discern as I grab my colourful t-shirt. After all, not so long ago it was unthinkable I would be where I am now. Yet, a defining experience pops to my mind as the starting point that set in motion everything else. I guess we all face a handful of times, through our lifespan, where everything we are to this world and those around us can be defined in a moment of pure conviction. The kind of moment where the way we experience time and space surrender under the yoke of a profound interpersonal connection, making you understand that the rules that dictated your life priorities have been changed. For me, that moment seemed like a lifetime ago even if it wasn’t; perhaps it all started during the last New Year’s Eve.
But sometimes those defining moments burst from the confluence of multiple circumstances, like mixing all the right ingredients to bake cookies, even if you can’t anticipate their flavour. Definitely discovering that my time in this world could be limited also weighted in waking up some sort of existential dread in me. After all, becoming aware that there is a dark seed inside of you, growing and searching for your annihilation, changes your perspective towards life itself as well.
We all know that death is the accomplice time uses to remember us its silent and dictatorial reign – at least in this plane of reality. Even if we choose to promise ourselves we still have enough time to achieve all our resolutions, the illusion inevitably vanishes eventually, like a shrill alarm waking you up from your dearest dream.
Just like the day you become old enough to realise your parents are not perfect, there is a scent of an inner defeat when you are forced to consider your own death, where the world you have been taking for granted becomes a bit colder, darker, tumorous. Suddenly, you realise you won’t live forever to accomplish all the goals you have been postponing, or to fix all the relationships the friction of life damaged.
How do you move forward after you have danced and flirted with the brightest and darkest of the spectrum of existence? – I praise as I choose matching shoes and jacket. I cannot be late for this lunch. The true answer is that you don’t. At least not completely. For every defining moment that changes our life and is shared with someone we are connected to, a part of our essence, of our Quantum Self, stays forever anchored into that moment and place, entangled with that special person. It is there, as we connect in meaningful ways, where we can transcend and trespass the space-time limitations of our biological and social being.
Then, you are faced with the ultimate choice: stepping forward towards the pilgrimage of your personal growth, or backwards searching for your comfort zone. In my case, I jumped forward with both feet without hesitation, submerging into the rabbit hole of existence, equally convinced and unaware of the raw truths I would find through exploring what Quantum Psychology implies.
Besides, learning your time here is capped short and limited comes with a sense of relief and freedom, knowing that all you have left to do is search and finesse every nook of that tunnel. And nothing you ever experienced or expected will prepare you to face how deep and dark that hole can go; to assimilate the level of introspection required to keep up with that rabbit.
Winning or losing become relative concepts; for every time you taste victory, it will require a sacrifice from you; for every time you experience defeat, the opportunity to grow will lay underneath; behind every loss or person you leave behind, you will learn ways to value their extinguished light. Some of the most important paths you will endeavour in life will not come with the certainty of what its ending will be, but from the personal determination pursuing an unknown final goal; and the best motivations drawn in this chase are those that escape the commodity of words and logical comprehension, because we all need our ultimate and intimate source of inspiration, determination, our Venus.
Then, everything becomes purposeful and resolved, even when it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. Especially then, when all the laws of logic advocate for giving up to fear and averageness, we must prove and test the nature of our bravery and determination towards an elusive, yet insightful, objective. Every great achievement throughout history started from an idea, a sentiment, that everyone else in the world perceived as crazy, unrealistic or boldly overambitious. Don’t find terror on the possibility of being wrong or failing, but in the acceptance of the eternal hesitation wondering ‘what if…’.
This lunch will define what to do with whatever time I have left. – I assert as I look at myself in the mirror one more time before heading towards the front door. After all, when I decided to swim into that dark and unexplored rabbit hole to discover what Quantum Psychology implies, I did it accepting that I would embrace it whatever the consequences that came with it. No matter the toll to pay in return for pursuing that dream. Because, just as in a scale of accomplishment, as you move one step closer towards the depths of reality wider than life itself, the other side of the scale will go lighter, distancing you from your social environment one inch at the time.
Make no mistake: you will find heavy arguments at every turn to give up on everything you believe; to turn your back on those that add value to your life; to find reasons to hate who brought you happiness once. Perhaps comprehending that this book would be the last meaningful effort I would accomplish with the time I have left gave me some clarity towards understanding the importance of the way we connect with those around us.
Because you can fight it, deny the truth and hide from the oblivious under your cape of ego and inflated self-esteem; yet, in the moment of need, if you truly care for someone, you will always and unstoppably be present in body and spirit to that person, overruling all the above, and even your own self-interest, just as blood draws and follows the wound helplessly. All your psychological defences will melt inside the eyes of that person, and you will forget whatever it is that drove you to draw any imaginary lines between the both of you. Even if that means sparing them from your own self and the pain that can come to you with it, hiding that darkness from them and flourishing the good moments instead.
I belong to a generation which didn’t suffer the calamities of any Great War; our war is a spiritual and existential one. Because of that, we cling and collect experiences rather than material possessions, bigger houses or faster cars; we thrive through our skills and aptitudes, learnt with passion, rather than with our degrees; we measure success in the richness and enlighten we find in our existence and others we share our journey with, rather than with a job title.
We are often upset and frustrated, even if our environment insists on reminding us that we have everything we need, and that every opportunity has been granted to us. Still, we feel an emptiness that nothing we have been taught in school or social media can fulfil. Beyond the reach of the naked and naïve eye, our torment is to hint that there is something in the way reality is unfold to us that doesn’t add up; our quest and purpose is to connect with others, searching for that oblivious answer that feels slipping through our fingertips, with the unsaid promise that it will give purpose and meaning to everything else.
As any trail worth hiking, the track is rarely straight or intuitive; instead, it is often presented sinuous, deceiving, cyclical and rebellious towards everything you take for granted. To me, finding that path of discovery drove me to depict and embrace the fundamentals of Quantum Psychology, digging into the depths of my elemental being and Quantum Self.
Where did it all start and how far am I willing to go? – I think with my last long sigh before stepping out of the flat. Because, above all, what I am about to share with you is a story about space, time and profound interpersonal connections; more specifically, about how those three concepts, that we take for granted on a daily basis, can be deceiving, even when their true nature is presented to us.
And, as I get ready for one of the most important conversations I will ever have, my phone suddenly rings. And it brings a sound I thought I would never listen again: it is the Piña Colada ringtone playing. Instinctively and uncontrollably, my soul reacts to it with the taste of an almost forgotten memory, anticipating that sweet and captivating yearning sound of her voice. Even if what comes once I pick up the phone should have to wait until after my unmissable lunch, my finger starts its own quest towards the answer button, knowingly of everything that will come with it. Because, for a blink moment, I scent the soft sound of the sparkle that once gave sense to everything, and as an addicted I, once more, host something resembling a feeling, reminding me what being alive means.
But what does being alive mean? – I abstract myself as I pick up the phone, stopping the clock in the infinite moment when I will listen to her voice once more, while re-tracking all my steps and searching for the beginning of the story.
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